2016 Volume 30 Issue 1 Pages 1-16
A few previous studies have found that parental divorce has a positive mental impact on children, i.e. it enhances their independence and sociality, but numerous other studies have found that children who have experienced their parents' divorce tend to display emotional instability and maladjustment and that those children need psychological support.
One aim of the current study was to determine if the process of parental divorce leads to a child's emotional suffering or maladjustment. Another aim of this study was to ascertain the factors that sustain or restore mental health in those children. Semi-structured interviews were conducted with 25 youth from divorced families and transcripts of those interviews were qualitatively analyzed.
Results revealed that all of the children were distressed during the divorce as they displayed concern for and loyalty to their parents. In typical cases where the negative impacts of divorce worsened, a vicious downward spiral ensured. Parents failed to acknowledge the anguish suffered by and loyalty displayed by their children. Instead, children's concerns and loyalties were taken advantage of and exploited by parents with “destructive entitlement.” Those children tended to blame themselves, lose trust in others and the world around them, feel isolated and withdraw into themselves, and suppress their own “narratives” of their experiences.
When parents instead acknowledged the concern and loyalty displayed by their children, the children remained able to trust in others and the world around them. With support from the people they routinely interacted with and various activities, children were able to “de-center” themselves (i.e. putting psychological distance between themselves and their parents' divorce) without dwelling on their worries and anguish.
Through this series of experiences, children will be able to overcome their parents' divorce, become more independent and social, and lead a fulfilling life.
