2019 Volume 25 Issue 1 Pages 41-45
Naikan is a mental discipline that involves thinking of people who are prominent in one’s life, particularly one’s mother. This process involves the ‘three themes of Naikan.’ When taking a week out of their lives to concentrate on Naikan in a quiet place, many people speak of feeling grateful and exhilarated. This sense of spiritual fulfillment allows one to carefully and vigorously reflect on the three important themes of Naikan. In this case, the practitioner of Naikan was me. I was worn out from dealing with crises at work, caring for my parents and other responsibilities. I began practicing Naikan for the first time in 20 years in an effort to escape the rigors of my daily life. Alone in a quiet Naikan training institute, I was relieved of all burdens and immersed in a sense of becoming purified. I had dreams beginning on the third day of my Naikan retreat. The first dreams that I experienced involved a child who had fallen and could not move. A woman stood at a distance telling the child that everything would be okay. This child, who represented me, was in the midst of a struggle, and grew day by day until the last day of the Naikan retreat. The woman calmly watching over the child was much like my real mother, an independent person who does not condone being dependent on others: this was the idealized version of my mother. After some time had passed, I came to realize that the mother represented the atmosphere of the Naikan institute, which respected and accepted me as I was. I rediscovered myself while deepening my interpretation of dreams.
