Designing Relationships:

Focusing on Case Studies of “Solo Polyamory” in the United States

Abstract

    In this article, how polyamorous people in the United States create care relationships is examined with a focus on what they value and the dilemmas they have experienced. Polyamory, one form of “conscious non-monogamy (CNM),” tends to emphasize the importance of choosing one's own style of love or lifestyle consciously, rather than simply accepting marriage and sexual norms. Stories of the backgrounds of how the subjects began polyamory and their daily lives show that they value individual autonomy as well as commitments with others. While polyamory takes various forms, these characteristics of polyamory are found distinctively in “solo polyamory.” Most “solo polyamorists” do not wish to live together and share finances, tending rather to emphasize individual independence. The case of Mia (pseudonym), who identifies as a “solo polyamorist,” reveals that solo polyamorists design their relationships through negotiations concerning what they want and that there are difficulties in determining which parts of their lives they should share or not.