The interpretation of school absentees' pretence of a bad child : using Heidegger's meditation as a guide

Abstract

School absentees generally feel uneasy when they are with others. This is because they suspect that others may be criticizing them for their inability to attend school. On the other hand, this causes them to hope that others understand and accept them warmly. In spite of what was mentioned above, they occasionally, especially when they are with the adult whom they can trust, play the role of a typical bad child whose behavior is difficult for adults in general to understand. When this behavior of 'school absentees' is considered under Heidegger's meditation, they cannot help being troubled with the suspect that the public is criticizing them severely, as long as they think of themselves as an exception who cannot attend school as other students do. They feel this way even if individuals around them are not criticizing them. Heidegger says that human beings cannot but be conscious of the existence of their public, even though there are no individuals around them. That is why school absentees are nervous about the public criticizing them while they are withdrawing from school. Therefore, as they feel the public paying attention to them, they tend to make the effort to imitate good children's behavior that is thought of as proper in general. However, this results in harming school absentees because it prevents them from showing themselves as they are, even to the people who have a close relationship with them. To ease this pain, they eagerly try to disguise themselves and show themselves as a bad child when they are with the people who are reliable. They do so to find a person who is special to them in that he or she can understand they cannot be good children completely and accept them as they are. This is how they try to remove their anguish caused by not being able to reveal what they really are even to the people who are very close to them.