This paper is an attempt by the author, an ecological psychologist, who has developed depression since 2016 and been still fighting the disease, to describe in detail the situation of own depression ．In this paper, the following contents are described concretely from the first-person perspective. — How to manifest specific symptoms of the author's own disease. The perception of the world that the author actually experienced．The relationship between the author and the world around it．Some causes that may have caused depression in the author. How to reduce the symptoms of depression as much as possible. — The memos, scribbles, and the author's own memory are used to describe the items listed here. The people referred to in the discussion of this paper are Gibson, J. J. (ecological psychology), Bin Kimura (psychopathology), Shozo Omori (philosophy), Shigeo Miki (Anatomy), J. Turrell (contemporary art).
